Hurting

So, last night I was really depressed, and I hurt myself. I swore I wouldn't do it again, but it's like an addiction, it never goes away, you just learn to control it. Obviously I can't. Did it again this morning too, I'm so fucking weak, it's pathetic. Just got to hide it from him now, cos he doesn't understand, he's never understood that part of me, suppose you have to do it to understand it.